


Mad World

by Secretfurrydragon



Series: Base on songs [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alan supporting Jensen, Angst, Explicit Coarse Language, F/M, Falling in love with Jensen, Fluff, Jensen hurting, Jensen in pain, Jensen in shock, Jensen so angry, Jensen's an ass, Reader hurting, Reader shot protecting Jensen, Reader's BAMF, Reader's seriously injured in the line of duty., death of a minor character, mention of rape, reader in pain, supportive Misha, supportive jared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-14 07:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11778405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretfurrydragon/pseuds/Secretfurrydragon
Summary: The Reader, Jensen, Jared and Misha are Special Agents and protecting someone important. The Reader is tested by Jensen and she drops him on his ass. Then the Reader is seriously injured protecting Jensen. Will Jensen forgive himself?





	1. Mad World

**Author's Note:**

> The Reader is helping Jared and Misha protect an ass and in doing so she meets Jensen who tests her and she drops him on his ass twice. Then they go out to karaoke bar and she sings and Jensen is instantly attracted to her. The Reader is then shot and seriously injured. 
> 
> I wrote this on Tumblr for Kari's RPF appreciation day challenge. My prompt wwas the song Mad World. I chose the Tears for Fears version more my era.  
> I enjoyed writing this as it was something different for me and I hope you all like it too. 
> 
> Warnings: As above. Oh Jensen's balls are knee also in the fiction. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated.

I was just sitting there watching the world go by. I don't seem to notice as my life is not what matters here. He may be an ass but he needed to live. I knew I had to keep him safe. I watch him from afar always making sure he is alright. I knew if he needed rescuing I would be there.

One peculiar day I was watching him and something was off. It looked all wrong I got up to take a closer look when I noticed someone pulled a gun. I follow the guy with the gun only to see if he was headed for him.

I moved quietly between the crowd of people as I closed in on him. I was at least 50 feet from him. As I near him and said, “I wouldn't do that, if I were you?”

He said, “Why he's an ass deserves what he gets?”

“True but you don't want to go to prison over him, do you?”

He sighed, “I guess not he's still and ass.”

I laughed as I slip the gun from his hand. He turns to look at me and my breath hitched he had the most incredible green eyes I have even seen. He looked at me as he had the most incredible expressive eyes I have seen. I grabbed his arm and walked him away from the crowd.

“Are you going to arrest me?”

“Yes, I should arrest you for holding a weapon but I won't this time unless my superior's say otherwise. This is your only free pass next time I will take your ass down.”

He laughed at me and said, “I would like to see that?”

As he was 6 feet in height and I was only 4 feet 8 inches at the most. I then proceeded to flip the guy on his ass. He looked shocked and surprised.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I'm nobody special," I said.

“Hey, you just kicked my ass no one has ever done that before. You work for FBI, CIA or NSA? Come on I would like to know who just kicked my ass?”

“Sorry Sir it's classified if I tell you I will have to kill you.”

He looked stunned but said, “Can I at least get a first name?”

“Sorry Sir, again if I tell you I will have to kill you.”

“Ok, fine, fine.”

Then Misha and Jared both head of security came over and Misha asked, “What was going on?”

I said, “Nothing Sir, nothing I can't handle.”

“Is that right, Special Agent Ackles I see you've met Special Agent Y/L/N”

He laughed at my surprise then and he said, “Good job by the way Special Agent.”

Misha said, “So you going to tell me what happened Jensen?”

“Let just say the ass is safe for another day.”

“Sir I'm sorry I'm knocked you on your ass.”

“Yep, that won't happen again Agent. Stop calling me Sir it's Jensen, Jared and Misha.” I gave him a look saying oh yeah it will happen again.

“Yes, Sir I mean Jensen," I said.

“Jared what's her name?” Jensen asked.

“It's Y/N Y/L/N," Jared answered.

“Well Y/N,” as he got up “How did you know I would've turned the gun to shoot you instead of the ass,” he said.

“May I demonstrate," I said.

“Of course?” with a raised eyebrow.

I gave Jensen his gun as he was standing the way he was when I came up behind him. Then he turned suddenly with the gun aimed at my middle. Before he could get all the way around I had his arm in a lock hold he couldn't move it. As I tighten my grip on his arm it went numb and he dropped the gun.

He said, “Ok, I give.”

I let go of his arm as he rubbed his shoulder. He looked at me with something more of annoyance and there was something else in his eyes. I couldn't work out what it was.

He said, “Who trained you I've only seen that move once in my life and he was a master at it.”

“Agent Ackles," I said.

He rolled his eyes and said, “It's Jensen.”

“No, Agent Ackles Senior.”

“Yep, I knew I was screwed,” as he looks at me.

“Anything else you would like to test me on Jensen?”

“No,” as he turns to hit me I knock his feet from under him as he landed on his ass again.

Misha and Jared were trying to hold back some laughter. I looked innocent as I offer a hand to help Jensen up when he pulled me down and he was straddling my hips.

Misha said, “Jensen I wouldn't do that if I was………” stopped mid-sentence.

As I brought my knee up and knee him in the balls. Jensen grasp for air when he said in a high-pitched voice. “Fuck that hurt Y/N.”

He rolled off me as he clutched his balls whining and swearing.

 

Jared helped me up as he looked at Jensen and said, “You right there Jensen.

“No, I don't think I will be having any kids ever," his voice strained with pain.

“I'm sorry Jensen but you shouldn't have straddled me. Next time put your leg between mine so I couldn't move.”

He gives me a death glare as he struggles to his feet bending over when he walks. I tried not to laugh when Misha offer to take me home.

I said, “I'm good my car is in the car park. We should make sure ass is safe for the night first. I think you might need to take Jensen home Misha. I don't think he is going to be able to drive with sore balls.

Misha and Jared laughed so hard they had tears streaming down their faces. Jensen looked at them and told them to shut up.

Misha and Jared grabbed Jensen's arm to help when Jensen pulled away and said, “I can manage” with a very long moan as they walked away.

I went to see if the ass was ok which he was safe and secure in his room with secret service watching him. So, I took off to go home. I thought about Jensen and rang Misha.

“Hello, Misha here,” Misha said.

“Hello Misha, its Y/N.”

“Hello Y/N, what can I do for you?”

“I feel guilty for hurting Jensen is he alright?”

“Yeah just his pride was hurt.”

“What about his balls are they ok?” I inquired.

“Yeah, he put some ice on them when he got home. He should be fine?” Misha said.

“Do you think he would mine if I brought him some dinner and see how he is Misha?”

“I'm not sure he will like it but you can try.”

“Thank you, what's his address Misha?”

Misha gave me his address and I stopped off and got some burgers and banana ice cream and beer.

I arrived a short time later when I knocked on the door. Jensen called out “hang on a minute.”

He opened the door with the ice packet still on his crotch and a beer in the other hand. He looked at me and said, “come to finish the job?”

I blushed and said, “No, peace offering,” as I held up the food and beers.

He looked and said, “Ok only because I'm hungry and my balls hurt to make anything.” I tried not to smile as I walked in and he motioned to the couch. I sat down as he limped to the kitchen and grabbed some plates. I called out bowls and spoons too.

I heard him curse and said, “Fuck I'm not going to be able to carry all that.”

I got up and went to help him. We sat down when I pulled out the bacon double cheese burger. His eyes lit up at the smell as I unwrapped his and handed it to him.

He didn't waste any time as he started to eat. I unwrapped mine and ate it from the wrapper. It was heavenly as I moaned into the bite and Jensen was watching me. He groaned as he ate his. We didn't talk we just ate our burgers. When we finished I put the wrappers in the bag and took Jensen's plate to the sink.

He said, “So how look has my father being training you?”

“Five years and 6 months. He was very hard to begin with he made me sit and not move for hours. Then we progressed to self-defence teaching me everything he knew. Then he taught me how to shoot a gun. He was a hard ass son-of-a-bitch but he deemed me ready to go out in the real world.”

"So how is the son-of-a-bitch I haven't seen him in 6 years. So, I guess he has been training you?”

“Yep he has. He never spoke of a son when we did actually talk about family?”

“That's because I'm a disappointment to him. He wanted me to be just like him but I didn't want to so I joined the agency and he never forgave me. “

“I'm sorry to hear that Jensen.”

“No need I'm over it.”

“Would you like some ice cream I brought banana?”

“How did you know that was my favourite?”

“I asked Misha and he told me as a peace offering.”

He laughed and said, “It's ok I deserved it I was pushing you and you reacted the way you are suppose too. We’re good.”

I grabbed the bowls ready to put the ice cream in but he stayed my hand and said, “You ok with us eating out the tub.”

“Sure,” as I handed him a spoon.

He was looking at me as I took a spoonful and open my mouth and licked the spoon he groaned again. He so wanted to kiss me as he watched me licking the spoon he became uncomfortable in his track pants. He put the ice pack on his erection. He turned away to eat his ice cream.

I asked, “Are you alright Jensen?”

“Um yep peachy," he said trying to hide his erection.

“What did I do something?” I asked.

“Nah, it's not you it's me.”

“Jensen maybe I should go and see you at work tomorrow.”

“Maybe you better” as I put the spoon in the kitchen. I looked at him and he looked like he was in pain.

I said, “Ok, see you later.”

“Can you let yourself out Y/N?”

“Of course, bye Jensen.”

“Bye Y/N,” as I was leaving I looked at Jensen as I looked worry but I shut the door. He looked down and said, “You're a traitor to all men you know that.”

As he winced trying to will his erection away. The ice helped a lot and it went down. His balls were still sore so he left the ice there. After his erection went down he got up and went to bed after putting the remainder of the ice cream in the freezer.

Misha and Jared were ribbing him about what happened the day before. He just ignored them as I walked in and they looked at me.

Jared said, “Are you going to break Jensen's balls again today?”

“I don't know let's see where the day leads shall we,” as Jensen puts his hand over his crotch.

We all laughed as he said, “Shut up. We better go see if ass is ok today?”

We all filed out when Misha said, “Want to go for drinks after work?”

Jensen said, “Not the karaoke bar again?”

Jared said, “I like that bar plus there's a very hot waitress that works there. I'm thinking about asking her out.”

“I'm in, I like karaoke it's fun,” I said.

“That be right she probably can't sing,” he mumbles.

“What Jensen do you say something?” I said.

“No, just that I'm looking forward to hearing you sing,” Jensen replied.

“I'm not that good at singing?”

“Yeah we all are bad at singing just depends how bad.”

“I guess we'll find out tonight?”

We all walked off and took our security detail to protect the ass. There were no mishaps today and everything went smoothly.

We all made a time to meet at the bar and we went our separate ways. I arrived a little early to scope out the place and found us a seat. They walked in a few minutes after me as Misha said, “Over there” as he spotted me.

They headed over and the waitress came over to take our order I noticed Jared was flirting shamelessly with her as he asked her name.

She smiled and said, “Genevieve.”

He smiled a bright smile and said, “I'm Jared, this is Jensen, Misha and Y/N.”

We all waved as she smiled and said, “What can I get for you all?”

Misha said, “Four beers please.”

Jensen said, “Hang on if I had to endure all this karaoke I think I will need a whiskey neat. Please.”

“Ok so it's three beers and a whiskey neat.”

Misha said, “Yes that's right” as she passes a piece of paper to Jared. She winks before she leaves. He looks at it and has a huge smile on his face.

I said, “What?”

“It's her phone number,” with a smug look of victory on his face.

“Yeah ok don't get cocky.” I said.

Jensen rolled his eyes as he looked at Jared's face. Jared just smiles and looks at the bar around him.

Genevieve brings our drinks over and Jensen drinks half his whiskey before we even had a sip of our drinks.

Misha said, “Who's going first?”

Jensen said, “Not me haven't had enough to drink yet.”

“I will I'm not afraid,” Jensen rolls his eyes as I get up to choose a song.

I'm looking through the song choices and pick a song I use to sing when I was at home cleaning.

“Hi Everyone, I'm Y/N and I'm going to sing Mad World by Tears for Fears.”

Jensen looked down at his whiskey waiting for the me to sing as the song starts.

I sing the first line:

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

 

Jensen looks up and is in total awe. He listened to me as he was memorised by my voice. Thinking my voice was soft and heavenly to listen to.

Misha said, “Shit she can sing.”

Jensen said, “Shut up Misha I want to listen to her.”

Jared and Misha both looked as Jensen eyes haven't left me on stage. I turned towards them as Jensen's eyes locked with mine.

 

Bright and early for the daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

 

“Jensen look at her go,” Jared said, “She's amazing?”

“Yeah, she is” as his eyes were still locked with mine.

 

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

 silence fell over the whole bar as they all listen to me sing.

When people run in circles it's a very

very mad world, mad world.

Children waiting for the day they feel good

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday

Made to feel the way that every child should

sit and listen, sit and listen

went to school and I was very nervous

No one knew me, no one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson

Look right through me, look right through me.

 

“Jensen” as Jared snapped his fingers in front of his face “Dude you with us?”

“Huh, Jared, what?”

“She can sing really, well maybe you both should do a duet together?”

“No, she's too good for me and I’m not as good as her Jared.”

“Go on she will love it.”

As he turns his head back to the song.

 

And I find it kinda of fun, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the

Best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles it's a very very

Mad world, world

Enlarging your world

Mad World

 

The music stopped and everyone was quiet for a beat and then there were whistles and shouting.

My eyes were still locked with Jensen as I moved off the stage and almost trip but regain my balance.

I walked back to the table where Misha and Jared were looking.

Jared said, “Damn girl that's was amazing.”

“Thank you, Jared,” as I was still looking into Jensen's eyes.

Misha said, “Hey Y/N, do you think you could sing with Jensen you both would be really amazing up there?”

“I don't know if Jensen wants too.”

“I'm not going to sing with you, you call that singing I wanted to run out of here screaming.”

I looked at him stunned as I said, “It’s ok you probably can't sing anyway?” With my eyebrows raised.

Jared looked at Misha and knew this was going to end in blood.

Jensen said, “How do you know, you've never heard me sing?”

“Yep, can't sing probably out of tune.”

His eyes changed as did his whole face when he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the stage.

He growled out, “pick a song?”

I looked through the list and choose a romantic song we could sing together.

“It's called: We’ve got tonight babe - by Bob Seger but the duet by cast of Glee”, I said.

Jensen rolled his eyes thinking dumb ass glee song geez.

Jensen started singing as he looks at the words and listens to the music.

 

He sings: I know it's late, I know you’re weary

I know your plans don't include me

 

As I looked stunned his voice was incredible and he was a little shy and looking down until I started singing he looked straight at me.

 

Then I sing: Still here we are, both of us lonely

Longing for shelter from all that we see

 

Jensen sings: Why should we worry, no one will care girl

Then I cut in: Look at the stars so far away

We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?

We got tonight babe

Why don't you stay?

 

Then there was clapping in the bar as I turned to look at Jensen who was watching me with the same look when I was singing Mad World.

Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely

All my hopes, fading away

I've longed for love, like everyone else does

I know I'll keep searching even after today

 

Then Jensen sings: So, there it is girl? We’ve got it all now

I sing: And here we are babe, what do you say? As he seen my eyebrow raise just a little bit.

He smiled and we both sang: We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?

We’ve got tonight babe

Why don't you stay?

 

The song was still playing as Jensen dropped his mike and grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him, as he moved my hands to his neck and he slammed his lips down on mine in a heated kiss. His mouth moved over mine and he gently bit my lip and I opened willingly. I fought his tongue as he deepened the kiss. It was the hottest kiss I've ever had. He was still kissing me when we heard everyone clapping and whistles and we heard Jared shout out, “get a room you too.”

He finally pulled back and looked at me and said, “Fuck, sorry I…...I” as he looked down embarrassed.

I looked at him as I was hurt he said that as I said to make him feel better, “No, it's fine really Jensen.”

He looked up and said, “Really?”

“Yeah sure, we were only goofing around.”

He sighed with relief as he said, “Yeah, it didn't mean anything at all.”

I said, “Yeah, let's go sit down” as I try to will the tears which were stinging my eyes away.

We walked off stage to Jared saying “Dude, what was that?”

“It just kind of happened. It didn't mean anything right Y/N.”

“Yeah, nothing at all," I said as I looked down trying to hide my hurt feeling.

Misha noticed the hurt look on my face and said, “How about another round?”

“Nah, I should be heading home, early start tomorrow.”

“You sure Y/N my shout.” Misha said.

“Nope, I'm good see you all tomorrow.”

Misha said, “I’ll go with you and get us some more drinks.”

I said, “Night Jared and Jensen see you both tomorrow.”

Jensen didn't even look at me when he said, “Yeah right tomorrow.”

Jared smiled and said, “See you then Y/N.”

We walked away and Misha said, “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just……?”

As Misha cut in “thought it was more and he thinks it didn't mean anything? Right?”

“Yeah, I guess. I should have expected it he’s the one-night stand king he wouldn’t notice me. I'm a work colleague someone to goof around with.”

“You like him?”

“Yep, ever since I dropped him on his ass.”

“I'm sorry but you know it won't be anything else right.”

“Yeah,” as a tear slipped down my face as I wiped it away. “Night Misha.”

“You going to be alright?”

"Yes, I'll be fine, thanks for asking."

I left and went to my car and drove home.

Misha went back to the table and said, “What the hell was that Jensen?”

“What, Misha?” As Misha put the beers on the table.

“You kiss Y/N it was very unprofessional and it should never have happened.”

“What I told her it meant nothing it was a mistake.”

“Geez Jensen are you that blind?”

Jared said, “She likes you Dude?”

“Oh, oh,” when it finally dawns on him.

“Yes, oh, what are you going to do to fix this Jensen. She's a really good Agent and I don't want to lose her.”

“Ok, ok I will talk to her tomorrow?”

I arrived home and ran a bath and sat in it and cried like a baby. I hadn't been kissed like that in a long time it felt amazing and very real. I knew Jensen liked me just a little bit. He's kiss was soft and he deepened it, he wouldn't have if he didn't like me, right? But he doesn't want me. I got out the bath and had a fitful night’s sleep.

The next day at work I tried all ways to avoid running into Jensen. I even stay near the ass so Jensen wouldn't come near me.

Misha knew what I was doing and he gave me a sympathetic smile and a shoulder squeeze for reassurance.

Then I heard over my radio “I need help here anyone please,” it was Jensen's panicked voice so I raced to where I knew he would be. He saw me coming and said, “finally we can talk?”

“What, Jensen I thought you were in trouble.” I went to flip him but he stopped me by grabbing my arms.

“We need to talk Y/N about last night?”

“No, we don't Sir,” in an angry voice and “fucking let me go.” He let me go as he backed away from me.

“Ok, so” he stopped as he noticed me looking at something. He looked at it, it was shiny and bright in the sunlight. It was a gun pointed at me. It was aimed for my chest.

I shouted “no, Jensen” as I ran to put my body in between Jensen and the bullet as I fell into his arms as it all happened so fast. But Jensen saw it all in slow motion as he shouted, “Y/N no don't.”

We both heard the shot it was deafening in the room but Jensen didn't feel any pain. Jensen pulled his gun out on instinct and pulled the trigger as he hit the gunman in the chest he died instantly. I was looking at Jensen when the bullet ripped through my body as Jensen watched the pain flint across my face. He dropped his gun with a loud thud as I collapsed into his arms. He looked at me and he finally sees the blood.

I was bleeding from a wound in my lower back. As he shouted “Y/N, no not again,” as he lowers me to the ground carefully.

Then he hears Misha and Jared shouting “Jensen, Y/N what's happening,” in unison.

Jensen finally found his voice and said, “Y/N’s been shot she needs an ambulance.”

He heard the static of Misha saying, “How bad Jensen?”

Jensen looked at me as I looked into his eyes and wince in pain. I was losing a lot of blood and I said, “I'm sorry Jensen.”

“Huh, you saved my life Baby.”

“No, I think I'm falling in love with you?” With tears flowing down my face as Jensen wiped them away.

Jensen looked as I winced in pain again and I was on the verge of losing consciousness when Jensen bent down and kissed me again. It was soft and gentle as he let a tear slip from his eye as we heard the sirens everywhere. Misha and Jared finally broke through the crowd to find Jensen holding me in his arm as he had me laying half on the ground with his other hand pushing down on the wound in my back.

“Jensen, I can't feel my legs?” It was barely above a whisper.

“It's alright Baby, you'll be alright.” As his voice broke on a sob.

Jared said,” Fuck,” as he came over and put his hand where Jensen's was.

Misha said, “What happened Jensen?” As he picks up Jensen's gun and put in his belt.

The ambulance arrived as they moved them out of the way and put padding on my wound, and Jensen lifted me carefully and put me on a backboard so they could immobilise my neck and back as to not cause any more damage. They also attached a drip as Jensen came over and held my hand and said, “You’re going to be fine Y/N,” as he kissed me softly again and I lost consciousness as they rushed me to the hospital.

Jensen didn't hear Misha all he could do was look at his hands with my blood over them.

Misha said, “Jensen……... Jensen,” he said a little louder.

“Hm” he seemed to snap out of it. “What, Misha?”

“What happened?” Misha asked.

“This guy was going to shoot me and she, she stepped in the way and, and….... She sav…...ed me Misha what if she, she dies?”

“She will be alright Jensen she fit and healthy.”

“Misha, need to get to, to…... the hospital.”

Jared said, “Misha we should him check over too. He looks like he might be going into shock.”

“Ok, Jared you drive him and get him cleaned up I will sort this out.”

“Ok, I will ring with an update in Y/N’s condition.”

Jensen and Jared left and headed for the hospital. Jared made sure he was seen by a doctor who advised them that he should stay overnight for observation.”

Jensen said, “No, I'm not staying in no hospital, I'm fine.”

The Doctor sighed and said, “Can someone stay with you then.”

Jared said, “Yeah, I can.”

“Good if he shows any other signs of being in shock please bring him back in.”

“Sure, I know the signs Doc," Jared said.

“I'm not going anywhere until I find out Y/N’s alright?”

The Doctor said, “I can find out for you?”

Jared said, “Thanks Doctor?”

Jensen walks out of the little room and goes and waits in the waiting room pacing the floor as the Doctor comes back with the surgeon that worked on me.

He said, “Agent Ackles and Padalecki you're enquiring about Agent Y/L/N?”

Jensen said, “How is she doc?”

“She has suffered extreme trauma to her spine. We were unable to remove the bullet as it was lodged to close her T10 and T11 vertebrae.”

Jensen said, “English doc what's does it mean?”

“She may never walk again we won't know how bad until she wakes up.”

Jared said, “Thank you Doctors.”

“Agents” they both said as they left.

Jensen said, “Jared I need to see her,” as he looks into his friends worried face.

Jared said, “What happened Jensen?”

“She took the bullet that was meant for me Jared. Before the ambulance came she told me she was in love with me. Fuck, Jared what do I do now she fucking saved my life.”

Jared looked at his friend and said, “I don't know Jensen. Do you feel the same?”

“I don't know Jared that's the thing. I think I might be and she's cool and all but I don't want her thinking I only want to be with her now she might not be able to walk.”

“Do you feel anything for her?”

“Yes, I guess, that kiss was fucking awesome Jared but I couldn't do it. I can't go through that again Jared.”

Jared understood about what he was saying. Jensen may never love another person again. He knows about the reputation everyone thinks he has but Jensen doesn't go out with woman unless it's for work.

Jensen looked at his hands as the blood had longed since dried on them. He knew he needed to wash them but he just couldn't leave to do it. He had to know if I was alright. As he continued to pace the floor waiting to see me. He had to work out his feelings for me.


	2. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader wakes to find out she will never walk again. Meanwhile Jensen falls in further in despair as he blames himself for her injury. He finds out later that the shooter had been after him and that I saved him by taking the bullet.  
> The Reader is distraught when the Doctor tells her and she tells Misha she hates Jensen and Jensen hears her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader wakes up to find out she will never walk again and Jensen blames himself. He walks away and leaves the Reader when she needs him the most. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, Jensen crying (Yes that’s a warning.), The Reader’s mad at Jensen for leaving her. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments always appreciated and welcome.

As Jensen paces waiting to see me. I wake up and realise I'm in the hospital. The Doctor is talking to me but all I can focus on is if Jensen was alright.

I said, "Is Jensen alright?"

The Doctor looked surprised as he was telling me about my injury as he said, "Yes he's fine. He and Agent Padalecki have been waiting to see you."

"Can I see them as I need to know myself," as I was still drowsy from the anasethic they gave me for the surgery.

"Alright only for a few minutes I need to explain about your injury."

"Ok, Doctor."

He leaves to go find Jensen and Jared they were in the waiting room. They have been there for five hours and Jensen still hadn't washed the dried blood from his hands. He couldn’t bring himself to leave to wash them incase I wake up. Jared was looking at his best friend and was worried as Jensen seems to be slipping into the state where he wouldn’t speak to anyone. 

Jared said, “Jay are you ok?” He had to get Jensen talking. 

Jensen said, “I’m ok Jared, it know your worried I see it on your face.”

”Well I remember what you went through the last time.”

”I know I will be alright when I see Y/N,” as he looks at my blood. He was wringing his hands together trying to stop the fear of what was to come. 

The Doctor came in and said, “Agent Ackles And Padalecki. Y/N would like to see you both.”

Jensen all but ran to the room as he stood there with his hand on the door handle. He took a deep breath as he tried not to show his worry over my injury.

Jared taps Jensen on the shoulder for support as he looks at his friend and tries to smile. Jensen looks at Jared and nods his head in acknowledgment. 

He opens the door and the first thing he hears is the machines. He gets lost for a moment as he remembers the last time he heard the same noise. The memory makes him shutter as Jared notices the slight shake in Jensen’s body. He knows this is hard for him to even be in the hospital but he had to make sure I was alright.

They walk in and stand a few feet from the bed as I am lying on my stomach. There was a drip in my arm and he thinks I look so tiny in the bed. I had my eyes closed as I didn’t hear them enter my room. He just looks at me for a moment before he walks up to the bed. 

He gently touches my face as he rubs his finger down my cheek. My eyes flutter open and I see Jensen standing in front of me. “Am I dreaming,” I ask.

He smiles and said, “No I’m here.”

”Good your alright I’m glad.....” as I drift back off to sleep. 

Jensen bends down and kisses me on the cheek as he looks at Jared. Jared knew his friend better than anyone except maybe Misha and didn’t say anything. Jensen pulls the chair up and sits down. Jared knew he wouldn’t leave the hospital now until I woke again. 

Jared said, “Jensen we should leave and let Y/N rest?”

”No, Jared I can’t leave not yet I need to talk to her.”

”Ok I will get us some coffees.”

Jensen nods as he takes my hand in his. He gently rubs my palm as I sleep. 

The Doctor comes in and said, “Agent Ackles have you been here all this time?”

”Yep I needed to talk with her. She felt asleep after she saw me. I hope it’s alright if I stay until she wakes?”

”Of course I haven’t told her about her injury yet and she might want the support. Where’s Agent Padalecki?”

”He went to get coffees which was about 30 minutes ago.” 

Jared walks in with the coffees and Misha behind him. Misha said, “I’m Agent Collins, I’m here to find out more about Agent Y/L/N’s injury.”

”Of course Agent please come with me and I will explain everything with you.”

Jared passed Jensen a coffee and walked out with Misha and the Doctor. 

He felt so exhausted as he could feel the sleep take over his body as he rests his head on the bed next to my hand. He is asleep in minutes as he dreams of his life with his wife she was beautiful and an Agent too. She was in love with him from the first moment they laid eyes on each other. They had a short engagement and were married after 6 months of knowing each other. He was happy as she smiled as she walked down the isle it was the happiest day of his life. Then the image changed and her bloody lifeless body were in his hands. As he looked at the body it changed from his wife to me. He was shaking and saying no not again in his sleep. 

Misha had came in to check on us as he heard Jensen talking in his sleep. He shook Jensen awake as he shot up almost falling out of the chair. 

“What happened?”

”You were having a nightmare Jensen.”

”I was I don’t remember it,” he lied as he looks at my face. Then he looked at his still blood stained hands. Misha saw and said, “Go wash her blood from you hands Jensen it’s not your fault she chose to protect you.”

”I should have pushed her out of the way Misha I could have prevented this.”

”No you couldn’t have. We found out who the shooter was.”

”Who, who was he?”

”Remember a year ago when..... “he stopped as Jensen knew what he was going to say. 

“Yeah I remember. What’s that got to do with it?”

”You killed his brothers and he wanted revenge so he came after you. Unfortunately Y/N  got in the way and was injured.”

”So your telling me that son-of-a-bitch has been following me for the pass year and planning this.”

”Seems so Jensen. That’s not all apparently he has another sibling somewhere we are unsure if it’s a male or female.”

”So they are going to come after me too. We don’t know Jensen and what makes it hard there are no records on the other sibling.”

”How do you know there’s another sibling then?”

”There was a picture of four people in a photo but it’s really old and hard to make out. We have Ash working on it but he said, “it will take awhile.”

”So I have to look over my shoulder now and be paranoid as all.......fuck why couldn’t life be easy for a change.”

”Will you’ve been given a few days off and order to see a Agencies head shrink.”

”Yeah ok, can I come back to work?”

”That depends on the head shrink has to say.”

”Oh great now he can decide my fucking future. You are already down Y/N now you won’t have me too. This is fucking wonderful.”

“Sorry it’s regulations after a shooting. Jared and I also have to go as well.”

”So who’s replacing Y/N?”

”They are being in Ty and Richard for now.”

”How do you feel about Richard working for you?”

”He’s good at his job but a complete asshat.”

He smiles as he knows Misha likes Richard but has a problem with his attitude when he told a direct order. But he good at what he does and gets the job done. 

Jensen looks around just now realising Jared wasn’t there.

”Where’s Jared Misha?”

”He went home I’ve taken over watch on you both.”

”You don’t need to watch me I’m fine.”

”Yeah right look at your hands Jensen.”

”Shit,” As he gets up to go wash them. I could hear the running water it sounded soothing as I slowly drift back to consciousness.

My mouth felt dry as I whisper Jensen’s name. Misha barely heard me but said, “Hey Y/N, it’s Misha.”

”Where’s Jensen?” I ask as my eyes scan what I could see of the room. 

Misha said, “He’s washing his hands he will be back in a moment.

”Water,” I asked. 

“Of course,” As he grabs the cup with a straw and puts it to my mouth I take a slip as I almost choke on it. But it felt nice going down my parched throat.

Jensen stops in his tracks as he sees me with my eyes open. He’s not sure why he feels so nervous all of a sudden. Could it be because he blames himself for me being a cripple. 

I see Jensen walking to my bed as he sits eyes level with me. I smile at him as he has a sad look on his face. I move my arm careful as I rub my thumb down his cheek as he moves his head into my touch.

”It’s not your fault Jensen I was the one who ran in front of you. I don’t blame you for any of this. I just happy your alive and well.”

I look into his glistening green eyes as a tear slips past his eyelids as I wipe it away. I knew he was sorry with just looking at his body wrecked with sobs. 

“You are blaming yourself aren’t you?”

He nodded as I just look at him. “Don’t Jensen if I had to do it over I would do it again.”

Just as he was about to answer the Doctor walks in. “Oh, good your awake. I need to tell you about your injury?”

”I think I’ve already guess doc. I can’t move my legs is it permanent or temporary.”

Jensen’s tears were flowing as he softly cried as he looked at me. I knew it was bad and I just waited for the other shoe to drop. 

“The bullet was lodged in your spine we couldn’t remove it. It is in your lower spine and it has inhibited the movement to your legs. I afraid you may never walk again.”

I took a sharp in take of breath as I heard the words over in my head, “afraid you may never walk again,” it’s like it was on permanent repeat. 

Then I heard Jensen sobbing and quietly saying, “I’m sorry,” over and over until his voice was hoarse. Misha stood there just watching our reactions not quite knowing what to say. He looked shock and sad as I was one of his best agents now I was a useless cripple. 

Finally the tears fell down my face as I felt numb and distant. Jensen looked at me and got up and walked out the door. He didn’t look back as Misha tried to comfort me. 

It wasn’t helping I didn’t blame Jensen but I was angry at him for leaving me without saying a word. 

Misha said, “He’s so sorry for what happened.”

”Jensen, where’s Jensen gone?”

”He blames himself for your injury Y/N and now you may never walk again, he will never forgive himself.”

”Oh boo hoo for Jensen I’m the one who will never walk again. He’s a selfish son-of-a-bitch Misha he could at least stay and give me some support. I hate him Misha, I hate him,” as the tears started anew.

Jensen was standing out side my door listening and he heard me when I said, “I hated him.”

I didn’t mean it I was angry and in shock. I couldn’t hate the man I loved or could I. All I know is at that moment I’m hurting and the one person who I wanted to comfort me walked out my room. Jensen walks away as he leaves the hospital. He looks up to where my room would be as he let the tears fall again. He didn’t know how to fix this or if I ever wanted to see him again. He wipes his eyes as he walks away and just keeps on walking to nowhere special. He didn’t know what to do or where to go. All he knew he needed to get away far away from all his friends. As he gets in a taxis and heads for the airport. 

He’s going home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your wonderful comments and Kudos it’s very much appreciated.  
> Not sure when the next chapter will be up as I have a few others I am writing as well. But will update again as soon as I can.  
> Thank you for reading my story.


	3. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen goes home as he is unable to deal with the Readers injury he blames himself for. While home his father starts to teach him. Meanwhile the Reader blames herself for his disappearance not knowing where he is. So they try to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen heads home to the place where he doesn’t want to be or with the person he doesn’t want to see. He father starts to teach him and Jensen is so angry. The Reader blames herself as they try to find him.
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: Coarse language, angry Jensen, Reader blames herself, Flashback memories of his wives death. mentions of rape. Sorry if I misses any warnings.
> 
> unbeated all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Comments welcome and encouraged thank you.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.

So Jensen gets on the plane back to Austin, Texas where he grew up. He didn’t like that he was headed there but he had nowhere else to go. He needed to think about what has happened and keep his friends safe from unknown person or person’s. He arrived 5 hours later he knew there was a reason he didn’t fly, it was because it scared the shit out if him, what if the plane crashed. 

He was tense when he got off the plane as his phone was ringing non stop on the plane. He didn’t need to check as he knew who it would be as he had 5 calls for Jared and 7 from Misha. He had hoped there was one for Y/N but he knew the answer to that question which was that she never wants to see him again. He gets a taxis to his home as the taxis pulls up he notices how it’s in need of repair. He gets out and walks to the door as he knocks on it. The door swings open as he pulls his gun out. He pushes the door open more as he enters the house. A hand grabs the gun as its pulled from his hand he instantly turns and fight the attacker as his attacker puts up his arms in defence. 

Jensen pins his attacker to the ground and then looks to see who it is.

”Your getting slow old man?”

”I am?” as he grins and flips him over and pins his arms. 

“Ok, fine let me up Alan.”

”Hey son, what you doing home?” As he helps him up and just looks at his sons face and knew there was something seriously wrong to bring him home after 6 years. 

“I um, left the Agency for now.”

”Why! What happen Slugger?”

”I don’t want to talk about it old man. Don’t call me that I’m not a child anymore.”

”Fine, Son are you alright?”

”No, I’m not.”

”What can I do to help you son.”

”I need you to train me in hand to hand combat, shooting, sniper shooting. I basically want to know it all.”

”Why, you hated that I was training others to be like me. Why now?”

“There’s someone coming for me and I want to be prepared. Plus I can’t protect my friends if I’m not.”

”Ok, I will teach you everything.”

He shook his head as the phone when off again. It was Jared again he didn’t want to talk to him or Misha just yet. So he put his phone down and his Dad just looked. It was unlike him not to answer his calls when his two best friends called. He thought he will need to get to the bottom of this. 

 

Back at the hospital I was in shock as Misha called Jared to find out where Jensen was.

”Hey Jared it’s Misha! Jensen’s not there is he?”

”No, why I thought he was at the hospital with you and Y/N.”

”Well Y/N was upset when she found out she would never walk and Jensen blamed himself. He got up and left not a word spoken except he was sorry. Y/N got mad and said, “She hated him I’m not sure he heard her or not.”

”Fuck that must have been hard for her and him. I will go check his place and some of the places I know he might go and I will call you if I find him.”

”Thanks Jared I better get back to Y/N she was very upset when Jensen left.”

”Ok, give her my best and I will see her soon.”

”I will bye Jared.”

”Bye Misha.”

 

Jared left his house in search for Jensen. He went to his home first and said, “Come on Jensen open the door.” There was no answer so he opened it with the key he had and noticed that Jensen hadn’t been there for at least the last two days.

So he left and close the door as he thought he might be at the karaoke bar so he when there no Jensen. He moved from one location to another and Jensen wasn’t in any of them. He was getting worried where could he be. He dialled Jensen’s phone and left a message.

” _Jensen call me as soon as you get this message. Its Jared.”_

He decided to head to the hospital to tell Misha and myself what he didn’t find. He arrived a short time later as he walks into my room. I saw him and said, “Jared did you......?” couldn’t finished the sentence.

He smiled and said, “No I didn’t find him.”

“Where the fuck is he then?”

”I don’t know,” Jared said.

”I’m so sorry for what I said, “I don’t hate him I was in shock and angry. God I wish he would walk in that door and I would tell him how much I love him. Now I’m not going to get the chance am I,” as a tear slipped down my face. I was lucky as the doctors agreed I could sit up with pillows behind my back for support and comfort. 

“He will turn up Y/N promise,” Misha said.

I gave them both a weak smile as I knew Jensen wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

 

In Austin, Texas it was a stinking hot day he’s father was doing a crash course on everything he was teaching but first he needed Jensen to focus so he has him standing on a piece of wood which was just the size to fit a foot and the other had to stand behind it awkwardly. The wood was about a foot off the ground. He needs to stand on it for at least 30 minutes and keep his balance and focus. He falls off after 3 minutes as his mind wanders to me and how broken I looked. 

He rubs his hand down his face as he tries to banish the image from his mind. As he gets up and tries again and again and again. His father knows there is something wrong but he will let his son work through with it on his own as Jensen will not talk to him away. His father walks away as Jensen continues to focus and try to stand he goes inside for a drink and Jensen’s phone rings.

 

He picks it up to see who it is. It’s Jared again he looks at the door and Jensen is still standing on the wood. He swipes the phone and Jared said, “Finally where the fuck are you Jay?”

Alan said, “It’s not Jensen, it’s Alan his father.”

Jared sucks in a breath of air wondering why Jensen is back home no less with his father. He said, “Hello Sir, may I speak with Jensen.”

”Jensen doesn’t know I answered his phone there is something going on with him and he won’t tell me. You are going to tell me son?”

”I’m sorry Sir but it’s not my place to tell you.”

”If you want Jensen back its the only way I can help him.”

He sighs as he thinks about it. “Ok, please don’t tell him I told you.”

”Ok deal, what’s happen Jared?”

”Jensen was almost shot the gunman was after Jensen for killing his brothers. But another agent Y/N Y/L/N stepped in front of Jensen and took the bullet and now she will never walk again. Plus they have feelings for each other and Jensen is blaming himself. He walked out of her room without a goodbye and just left we think he might have heard her say she hates him.”

”Oh right is Y/N ok otherwise?”

”Yes Sir.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he thought of me as a daughter he never had. He was thinking and said, “He said, “There was someone after him and he wants to protect himself is this part of that?”

”Yes, Sir there is one more relative but we don’t know who he or she is as the photo was old and hard to make out.”

”So he’s hiding out here away from them?”

”No Sir I think he wants to be prepared for what’s about to come. Also think he’s avoiding Y/N.”

”Is she there with you, Jared I would like to speak with her.”

”Of course, Sir.”

 

”Hello Y/N here.”

”Hey Shooter, how are you?”

”Hello Sir, um what are you.......?”she stops mid sentence as it finally click into place. “Jensen is with you Sir, is he safe?”

”Yes he’s fine he doesn’t know I’m on his phone.”

”Sir I’m sorry I didn’t mean....” 

“Didn’t mean to what save my sons life. You did good Shooter and thank you. I’m the one that’s sorry I should have been there for you both.”

”No, Sir I understand but Jensen he needs to know I don’t hate him I was upset and angry I don’t blame him Sir.”

”I know but now I have to get him to believe me. I think deep down he knows it’s just a stubborn streak he gets from me. He will work it out.”

”Sir is there anyway you could get him to come back?”

”He’s not ready yet but he will be soon if I keep pushing at him.”

”You training him like me?”

”Yes but he’s standing on the wood outside.”

I giggled as I knew he was forcing Jensen to admit he wouldn’t be able to stand on it for 30 minutes and he would get angry and throw in the towel.

“That’s very sneaky Sir.”

”I know but I need him angry to talk to me hell even shout and maybe throw a few punches at me. He needs to come to terms with this and what happened before he has never really dealt with.”

”Before Sir?”

”Get Jared and Misha to explain they were there when it happened and how bad it effected my son.”

”Ok, Sir I will. Take care of him Sir.”

”You love him don’t you shooter.”

”Yes Sir very much.”

”Ok, I will send him back to you hopefully in one piece.”

”Thank you Sir. Bye.”

”Bye shooter.”

 

I handed Jared back his phone as he looks at me for an explanation as Misha also walks in the room.

I look at them both and said, “Have a seat I have a story to tell.”

They both sit down as I begin, “as you both know I was top in my class at Uni and was recruited into the Agency went I was 18 years old. It was soon discovered that I could out do anyone in my class so they send me to train with Agent Ackles Senior. As you know he’s an expert in all sorts of training. He trained me to be the best and I was until I saved the man I loved from a bullet. I can still shoot I was the best sniper he has ever seen. He is going to put Jensen through the same training but he thinks he wouldn’t be able to cope being there with him for too long. So he is making it hard for him so he will come home.”

Jared laughed as Misha said, “Jensen can be very stubborn if he wants to be.”

”I’m worried when he learns what he needs to he might not come back.”

”He will he loves you too you know. He just didn’t want you to think its because you saved him and now you can't walk,” Misha said.

”He fell for you when you sang his eyes never left you. But he’s afraid if he shows you, you will end up like his wife?”

”I didn’t know Jensen was married? What happened to her?”

”I don’t know if we should be telling you this Jensen will get pissed at us?”

”Agent Ackles Senior told me to ask you both as you were there he thinks it might help me to understand Jensen more?”

Jared sighed and said, “Ok, but you didn’t hear it from us.”

”My lips are sealed.”

”We were on a stakeout with a really bad drug dealer he was a honest to god whack job. He got off on peoples pain and suffering. Anyway he made us one night and he beat the living crap out of us.”

”Ok course we fort back but his men were hyped up on with ever it was they were taking and we couldn’t stop them,” Misha said. 

“Anyway we all staggered home broken and beaten but what we didn’t know Jensen was followed home as he pissed the guy off.”

”Jensens wife was there and she was beautiful. He loved her more than his own life. When he open the door his wife was screaming and he walked in on them raping her and she looked at Jensen as he looked at them. He was so angry and beyond any coherent though as he pulled his spare gun and took the shot. It missed the target and he killed his wife. They knocked him out and when he came too he saw her lying there in a pool of her own blood and he sat there just holding her. It was at least several hours before we found him and her. He was crying as he said he killed her. Her body was taken away and he promised himself he wouldn’t get to close to anyone again,” Jared said.

”Then I turned up and he fell for me but he was being an ass pushing me away because he was afraid the same thing would happen?”

”Yes, we lied about his reputation so everyone would think he was a ladies man. But he hasn’t been with a women since his wife was killed.”

”Then I got shot and it sent him back to when she was killed and he didn’t know how to deal with it again.”

”Yep that’s why he kept saying I’m sorry. He was repeating it to his wife’s body until they took her away.”

”Jesus I said, “I hated him you think he heard me?”

”It’s a good guess he did.”

”Oh fuck, I need to see him Jared and Misha.”

”You got to get me out of here now.”

”We can’t you just came put of major surgery you won’t be able to go anywhere for awhile Y/N.”

”Like hell I’m staying here.”

”You will do what you are told Agent or I will post someone on your door to make sure you stay here.”

”Please Misha I have to find him.”

”He will come back,” Misha said in a sympathetic voice. 

“What if he doesn’t and he thinks I hate him. I couldn’t bare for him to be in that much pain.”

”It’s ok his father is there to help him through it all,” Jared said. 

”That’s what I’m afraid of Jared they haven’t spoken in 6 years there’s bound to be some resentment there. What if they kill each other?”

”I don’t think so maybe just hurt each other but killing no Jensen wouldn’t do it.”

”Ok, I guess Agent Ackles Senior did say maybe some punches might get thrown but nothing more.”

”See he would know, how to handle Jensen he did last time with his wife.”

”Ok, I will trust you for now but I’m on the first plane out of here if it goes sideways you hear me.”

”Yes ma’am and we will be with you,” Misha said.

 

Alan put Jensen’s phone down as he grabs a couple of beers from the fridge and heads back outside. Jensen was sweaty and he was hot as the sun was damn hot as it was mocking him. He was trying to concentrate on the wood but he keeps falling due to him thinking of me and how I said, I hated him.

Alan said, “Son take a break here have a drink.”

Jensen looks over and nods his head as he walks over. “You know old man I know what your trying to do?”

”And what’s that son?”

”Your trying to make me give up and go home.”

”Am I son I thought you wanted to train and this is how I train the best. This is how I trained all my recruits Jensen.”

He looked and wondered if he trained me like this. He wasn’t going to ask either because he didn’t want to bring up my name it hurt to much.

”Ok, old man I will train like them. So what’s next?”

”You still need to conquer the wood first. You need to focus and stand on there for 30 minutes can you do that?”

He huffs as he gives his beer back to his father as he climbs back on. He focuses and clears his mind as he thinks of his favourite song and sings it softly to himself. Then another song flicks into his mind and he could see me singing it. As he starts to sing the words to Mad World. Incredibly enough that works and he plays it over in his head over and over until he has completed the 30 minutes. He falls down his legs are burning from standing on the wood for so long. He wince with the muscle cramps in his legs as his father sits down beside him to rub some muscle relaxant into his legs. 

“I can do it myself old man,” as he snatched the cream from his hands. Jensen moans with the relief it was giving him. He hasn’t trained this hard in like forever. His body wasn’t use to this kind of punishment and he knew he was going to be sore tomorrow. He finished rubbing the cream in when he said, “Ok, old man what's next?”

”Nothing it’s getting late and you need to eat something son.”

”Not hungry rather train more.”

”Nope sorry son food and rest that’s a order,” Alan said.

”Ok, fine but I want to train after we eat.”

Alan sighs and he knew he wouldn’t give up so easily. He thought he will let Jensen rest but hes a stubborn ass. He looked like he was about to drop but that won’t stop him. 

They entered the house as Jensen’s phone rings again. He doesn’t even look at it. Alan said, “You going to answer that you can’t kept avoiding who ever it is?”

”You know damn well who it is Alan.”

”Ok, so it’s Jared or Misha are you going to talk to them?”

”Nope not yet it’s to soon.”

”To soon for what son?”

”It’s nothing.....,” as he looks around like he has missed something in the room but he knows exact where everything is as it hasn’t changed since his wife died. He sighs now just realising where he was standing and he saw a flash of his wife and she smiling at him. He didn’t know how hard it would be still to stand in this house but he knows he needs too, to keep everyone safe. He had left the house just after what happened and his father needed somewhere to train people that was remote so he offered his house to him. The memories were flashing through him like a freight train as he collapses on one knee. Alan is by he’s side it a instant as Jensen pushes him away.

”I’m fine old man,” as the memories subside and Jensen wipes his eyes as he gets up. He takes a deep breath and looks at his father who looked at him worried.

”Fine Slugger we will do this your way?” as they head for the kitchen.

“Let’s eat I’m hungry.”

They worked begrudgingly together to make food which neither of them ate very much off. Jensen was drinking alot of beer he was on his third beer when Alan said, “son slow down on them.”

”What these, nope sorry to disappoint you again Dad,” in a sarcastic voice.

”That’s enough of that boy.”

”You call me boy I’m more a man than you are you son-of-a-bitch. I was there when she was killed and saw what they did to her. It was like reliving Mum’s death and what happened to her. But I didn’t shut the world out like you did and became a recluse. I battled on and I continued on with my life. You just stopped dead and you took in complete strangers to teach them how to become the best. You never once thought your own son might have wanted be there for you. No you pushed me away and so I left and moved to another state just to get away from you.”

”What Jensen are you saying, you wanted to stay and train with me?”

”No, I wanted be apart of my Dad’s life but you couldn’t look at me because it reminded you of her and the pain.”

”Ok, son of we are going there let’s do this. Yes it was hard for me to look at you everyday. Part of it was the pain but the most part was I failed to protect your Mum and she was killed as was your beautiful wife.”

”Don’t bring her up you have no right, you son-of-a-bitch,” as a tear slips down his face.

”You know son I could be the only, only person who knows how you are feeling right now?”

”You will never know how I feel and how much I hate you for pushing me away,” in a angry tone.

”It was the only way I could deal with your Mother’s death son and to get the son’s of bitches that killed her.”

”Yeah I know old man I did the same thing and the.......he stopped short.”

”The what son?”

”Doesn’t matter I don’t want to talk about it. I want to train.”

 “Fine go sit in the middle of the room and don’t move for an hour.”

Jensen gets up and sits on the carpet mat in the middle of the room and crosses his legs. He closes his eyes as he thinks of me. His memories also flash to his dead wife. He was lost in both of us as he sat there, he decides to shut the thoughts down and didn’t think of anything as it brought him to much pain. He cleared his mind as he took a deep breath. 

Alan was watching him for signs of a brake but Jensen was unusually calm and still. So he left him and cleaned up the dishes. Alan was worried about his sons health and mental state he needed to get him to grief and face the pain. He had to try something else. He wasn’t sure what yet but he had all night to think on it. Can he help his son and keep him from danger? Only time will tell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for all comments and kudos are much appreciated.  
> Next chapter up soon.


	4. The kidnapping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is kidnapped by the fsmily of the man Jensen shot and cripple the Reader. Jensen and Alan head to Vancouver to save her with the help of Jared and Misha. Can they save her in time or will he lose the love of his life again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is kidnapped and Jensen has to save her. Will he be to late?
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, drugged Jared and Misha, violence, Jensen has a nightmare, sorry if I left any warnings off. 
> 
> Umbetaed all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Comments welcome and encouraged.

Jensen sat there as he felt like he was falling as he couldn't understand why. He remembers being in his house the house his wife died in. Then he see me standing there smiling at him. He runs to me and he can't quite reach me.

"I'm sorry Baby, it's my fault your now a cripple. I don't blame you for hating me. I would too I'm only bad luck. I got my wife killed and I almost got you killed too." As he was thrashing around he could feel a weight on his arms but didn't care if it bought him peace. He continued to talk as the tears fell from his eyes.

"Please forgive me Y/N, I'm so, so sorry, you deserve better than me. I'm not what you want I'm broken and damaged."

"Jensen, Jensen please I need you, come back to me."

"I can't come back not now or maybe ever?"

"Jensen I don't hate you, I love you."

"I know Baby but I have to do this. Please understand."

"No, I don't understand Jensen I'm in danger they are coming for me. Your the only one that can save me. Please before they get me." As I scream and Jensen tries to get up. His arms are pinned too the ground as he opens his eyes and flips the person holding him down.

He sees the same colour eyes that he has as his father looks at him in complete surprise.

"What the fuck, old man what are you doing?"

"You were thrashing around in your sleep and hurting yourself."

He lets go as Jensen sees both of his hands were bruised where he had hit the bed. Then he remembered what I said how I was in danger. He pushes his father off him and finds his phone. He sees all the miss calls from Jared and Misha but then he sees one he wasn't expecting as he opens his voice mail.

"Hey Jensen, I don't know what to say. I guess sorry I didn't mean to say I hate you I was in shock. Please come back I need you. I need you in my life. I hope you listen to this soon I'm still in the hospital as Misha won't let me leave. Ok I guess I should go see you soon."

Then he looks at his phone and there's another message from me. "Jensen help me, please I can't see where I am its cold and I can't move please dear god someone else is here. Please I'm scared Jensen......" the line goes dead.

"Fuck I have to go back, Y/N's in trouble."

"What son?"

He played the message again for Alan to hear. "Ok son, we both go and find her. I'm not letting her end up like your Mum and wife."

"I agree but first I need to call Jared and Misha."

He dials Jared's number first. It rings out as there is no answer so he tries Misha's number again no answer. Ok he is getting worried now. His Dad saw the look and asked, "what is it son?"

"They are not answering their phone's

"Dad I'm worried something might have happened we need to get back there quick."

He picked up his bag which wasn't unpacked as Alan grabbed his napsack he has ready for when he takes the recruits for there sniper training. They get in Jensen's car and they head to the airport. He listens to my call again listening for clues. He is so focus on the call he doesn't hear his father speaking to him.

"Jensen they will be ok. Shooter is a smart woman she knows how to get out of dangerous situations."

"Shooter?" He queried."

"Yes remember I trained her."

"Oh, yeah she did mention you trained her. But she could walk then old man she can't now because of me."

"What happened son?" Even though he already knows he needs Jensen to say the words out loud so he could hear them himself. 

"She was shot by someone who was after me. She was protecting me from a bullet which lodged in her spine and now she will never walk again."

"That's not your fault son, you didn't know this person was coming after you. Y/N made her choice to protect you. That to isn't your fault son."

"Yes it is if I hadn't ....?"

"Hadn't what son, show her feelings so she would've done it? I can tell you now she would have still done it, it was the way I taught her to protect the person in danger. This was her protecting you."

"Yeah but I didn't ask her too now look what happened to her."

"Jeez son you don't have to ask if she has feelings for you it's a natural instinct to protect the ones you love."

He didn't answer as the plane was getting ready to take off. They had their weapons with them as they flashed their badges and were able to board with them. Jensen was quiet all the way back as his father was worrying about him. 

 

Earlier in the hospital Misha and Jared were sitting with me. We decided it was best for me to call Jensen and tell him I was sorry. So I dialled his number on my phone. It went to voice mail as we all suspected it would have. 

"Hey Jensen, I don't know what to say. I guess sorry I didn't mean to say I hate you I was in shock. Please come back I need you. I need you in my life. I hope you listen to this soon I'm still in the hospital as Misha won't let me leave. Ok I guess I should go see you soon." Then I hang up the phone praying Jensen will listen to this and come back to us. 

Jared said, "voice mail again?"

I shook my head as a tear slipped down my face as Jared got up and hugged me. "It's ok Y/N he will come back and when he does I will kick his ass for you, for leaving without saying a word."

I tried to smile but it fell flat as he was trying to cheer me up. Then the door opens with a new doctor I didn't recognise before. He looked at me as he was careful taking notice of Jared and Misha as well. I was too preoccupied with thinking of Jensen to let my skills recognise danger when I saw it. 

He came over and looked at my chart then an orderly and nurse also entered as each positioned themselves behind Jared and Misha. The orderly was cleaning and the nurse was checking my drip. Then it all happened so fast the nurse and orderly jabbed Misha and Jared with needles and they staggered for a few seconds and then collapsed. I was kept awake while they threaten to kill my friends. So I remained quiet while they hand cuffed Jared and Misha also gagging them and locked them in the restroom. 

"What have you given them? Are they?" I couldn't finish the sentence thinking they killed my friends.

"No, they are not dead. They are just asleep and will be for a few hours. My grudge isn't with them it's with Jensen. But if you don't do what I want I will kill them." 

"Why because he killed your family is that it?" 

I was lifted into a wheelchair as the doctor said, "Well you will have to wait and see Y/N, we need you to bring Jensen to us."

"What, no I'm not. I don't know where he is and he won't come anyway."

"You better hope he does otherwise your dead."

"You might as well kill me now as he won't come for me."

"Maybe we give him and incentive to come shall we?"

"What are you going to do?"

"You will see?" as he laughs while wheeling me out of the hospital no one questioned him as he told them I was going to X-ray. I could have said something but I knew he had kept two people there watching over Misha and Jared, if I did anything he was going to carry out his threat to kill them. So I played along for now hoping Jensen doesn't come at all. I don't know if he could see another person he loves die because of him. It will brake him for good this time. 

We were driving along as I counted the way we were going and counted to each turn or bridge until we stopped about an hour outside of the city. They had blindfolded me so I couldn't see where I was going. The smell was bad it smelt like death and I almost gagged as he lifted me into the wheelchair. They had a hard time wheeling it over the rough terrain so I knew there were rocks under me. 

I heard a door creak open as I was wheeled further into the place. I counted how many steps they were taking to find my way out. I knew I had to find my own way out without Jensen coming to save me. I knew my legs don't work but my arms are strong as I could drag myself out. But where to from here I have no idea and that's what they are hoping I would think it's was hopeless. 

They wheeled me into a room and it echoed slightly as the put the brakes on the chair. I was lifted out and put into a chair where they tied my wrists down and they didn't worry about my legs. 

The doctor handed me my phone as I was still blindfolded and he hit Jensen's number and I was terrified. He said, "speak, tell Jensen." As he holds it to my ear. 

His number again went to voice mail as I saId, "Jensen help me, please I can't see where I am its cold and I can't move please dear god someone else is here. Please I'm scared Jensen......" as he pulls the phone from my ear. 

"So it went to voice mail, if he doesn't come back I will have to give him another incentive," with a sneer as he rips the blindfold from my head as my eyes adjust to the bright light. The room was bare except for shackles in the middle of the room hanging from the roof. I didn't like the look of them as I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. He saw the terrified look on my face and said, "I will use them if I need to."

"Please Jensen was only defending himself. He didn't mean to kill your family. He shot on reflex protecting me. It's my fault your brother is dead."

He laughed a hideous evil laugh and said, "my brother was an ass he deserved to die. No this is not over my brother."

"Then what is it over?"

"You will find out soon enough but for now sit tight and don't go anywhere," as he laughs while walking out of the room. He shuts and locks the door and turns the lights off so I'm sitting in the dark. 

My mind started to think of different things and all the strange noises around me. I was not in the position to free myself but I knew my life depend on Jensen coming. Will we both live through this or we will both die. 

 

\-----------------------------

Jensen and Alan touched down in Vancouver as Jensen found his car he had left there. Alan stows his gear and Jensen's in the trunk as he hops in. 

"Son we need to get supplies do you know anyone who can help us?"

"I know of someone old man but first I want to check the hospital and see if Y/N, Misha and Jared and alright."

"Jensen its better if we had,".... Jensen had cut him off. "No old man I need to know if they are safe first."

"Ok, Ok we go to the hospital first."

Jensen was speeding through the streets of Vancouver but he seem like time was standing still as the car was going to slow. He put his foot flat on the gas pedal as they went faster. He had to get to me and see if it was just a stupid mistake and I was there laughing with Jared and Misha. 

They arrived about 10 minutes later normally and half and hour ride. He was getting out the car before he had even stopped it properly. As it jolted forward he finally put it in park and turned the motor off. He pulled his gun and made sure it had bullets and was cocked and ready for use. Alan told him he would go in a different way incase of an ambush. 

Jensen grunted as he walks in the hospital doors. He heads to the elevator as he presses the button for my floor. He scans the floor as he walked. He noticed a few people sitting waiting to see a doctor and some nurses but nothing out of the ordinary. He was the only one on the elevator as he pulls his gun. He gets off and walks towards my room. Being careful as he felt like he was being watched. 

He continues walking and enters my room where he sees the bed empty and no sign of Jared or Misha. He hears a banging coming from the restroom door and muffle sounds. He pull his gun up as he walks quietly over to the door and listens. He could hear muffle noises as he slowly turns the lock but doesn't open so he kicks the door open. Sitting in the dark handcuffed was Jared and Misha as he helps them up and they walk wobbly out of the restroom. 

They sit on the bed as he pulls the gags down and finds the key for the cuffs on the cupboard by the bed as he uncuffs them. He pours them some water each as they took a deep drink. He just looks at them and waited until they were ready to explain. 

"What happened Jensen?" Jared asked. 

"That's what I was going to ask you Jared, Misha?"

"All I remember was Y/N, Jared and myself were talking about you wondering if you will come back. Then a doctor came in with an orderly who was moping the floor and a nurse," Misha said. 

"Then it was lights out I think they drugged us," Jared said. 

"So neither of you know where Y/N is?"

"No," Jared saw that look in Jensen's eyes so he knew something was wrong. "Jensen where is Y/N?"

"I don't know but I got this," as he plays the message for them to hear. 

"So who drugged us took her," Misha said. 

"Seems like it felt like someone is watching me as I came in. So whoever wanted me here now knows I'm here."

"Jensen did Senior Agent Ackles come with you?"

"Yes he's here where he can observe and not be noticed. I had to come and make sure she was alright."

"So we need to get weapons Jensen." 

"Got it covered. You think we could track her GPS on her phone Jared?"

"If it's on we can but if it's not then no. So we need to go to my apartment and get the computer," Jared said. 

"Let's go then and I will ring Alan and tell him to meet us at the car."

Jensen dialled his father's number and told him where to met. They got on the elevator with no sign of the kidnappers. As the go down he elevator Jensen replays the message in his mind over and over till it's memorised. He felt a wave of panic as he knew he needed to find me and soon otherwise I'm dead. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading my story I hope you are enjoying it. Sorry I took so long to post as I've had very serious health issues plus Mental health as well. I am much better and hope I can update more regularly in the future.


	5. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is kidnapped and the kidnapped demands revenge for the death of his brother’s. Will Jensen and the Reader make it out alive or will there be no rescue for either of them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen goes to save the Reader but it hurt and injured. Can he save them both or is it up to the Reader to save them before it’s too late. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: coarse language, Jensen’s severely beaten, Jensen graphic beating, Jensen has a concussion and memory problems, The Reader has a secret which is revealed or is it? Jensen’s and Reader’s POV. 
> 
> Please do not read if it triggers any health issues your more important than my story. So please take care reading it. 
> 
> Comment welcome and appreciated but please be kind. 
> 
> Unbetaed all mistakes are my own.

Jensen’s POV

We all met at my house to figure out what to do. My phone rings and I look at the number. I ignore the ringing as I knows it’s YN’s number and I tell them it’s a wrong number as they ask who it was. 

Alan knows Jensen and he knows he is lying by the way he tensed up when he looked at his phone.

Jared said, “So how do we find her Jensen?”

“Wait for them to call and see what there demands are.”

“Isn’t there away we can track her cell phone?”

“Not if it’s not on, there isn’t and we don’t know when they are going to call.”

“Right we need to work on a new plan,” Alan said. 

I was getting fidgety as I knew I had to ring the number back. So I excused myself and when to the bathroom.

I rang Y/N’s number and facetimed it so I could see her as she answered. God she is so beautiful as his heart skips a beat just looking at her. I turned the water tap on for cover so they couldn’t hear me talking. 

“Hey Baby, you alright.”

”For now I am.”

The kidnapped said, “tell him what I said.”

”No, I’m not telling him anything I rather die first.” 

“That can be arranged bitch,” as he slaps me hard across the face. 

I said in a low voice but menacing voice, “you touch her again and I will kill you, you son of a bitch.”

”Oh the boyfriend to the rescue,” he snatch’s the phone out of my hand and said, “listen hear loveboy you come alone or she dies.”

”Where?”

”No Jensen he will kill you,” I shouted as he slaps me again. 

“Shut up bitch.”

I growl as I try to keep my voice down, when I said, “you will pay for that.”

“I’m so scared. Go to the Ravenwood Factory. You better be alone I see or hear anyone else and she’s dead. You have one hour if your late.”

”Yeah I get it she dead right. I will be there.”

”Jensen  please don’t I’m not worth it. Let me die and save yourself,” I shouted out. 

“Oh she wants you to live maybe you should take her offer loverboy.”

”No way I will be there.”

We hung up and I had the water running as I flush the toilet and then I turn the water off when I felt I was ready to go back out to them. 

Alan asks, “everything alright son?”

”Fine, why?”

”You were in there awhile?”

”I had to think on my own. So where are we with the hunt.”

“No where we don’t know where to look?”

”Maybe we should get some rest and look at it with fresh eyes tomorrow. You two look done in,” looking at Jared and Misha. 

“Hey buddy so do you,” Jared said. 

“Ok we will see you in the morning.”

”Night,” Jared called back as they were leaving. 

Alan was having nothing of it he knows his son to well. 

“So what was the message.”

”Wrong number.”

”Jensen I know when your lying I see it now in your face.”

”Look old man you know nothing about me and haven’t in a very long time so don’t presume to know if I’m lying when I’m not. I’m going to bed I’m beat goodnight. You can show yourself out.”

”Sure son goodnight.”

I when to my room and slammed the door close to get my point across. I waited until I heard the front door close before I came out. I looked outside and his head lights were fading in the distance. I grabbed my gun and knew I was going to need a helicopter to get to the destination on time so I would need to get to the airfield lucky I was taught to fly as part of my training for the my job. 

So I drove like a bat out of hell as I keep checking my watch I had half an hour fuck am I going to make it on time. I knew it would take the helicopter time to warm up with all the checks. 

I lifted off the ground with 20 minutes to get there. I head towards the factory. I also made sure I wasn’t followed by anyone as I took the back roads to the air field. As I knew Alan was suspicious of the phone call earlier and knew something was going on and he would be the one to follow me.  

I touched down with 2 minutes to spare as I run inside being carefully not to make a sound. But it didn’t matter they were watching for me as two goons grabbed me as soon as I entered. I tried to fight them off but they were a lot bigger than me they were build like houses. I threw a punch and it didn’t even phase them as they punched me in the stomach as I doubled over winded. They pulled me up  and checked for weapons and they took my gun. So I quietly went along as I was still winded from the punch they all but dragged me along. 

 

Reader’s POV

A door open as I was thrown inside and I heard the lock click into place. The room was semi dark as I heard a whimper. “Who’s there?” I said in a deep voice. 

“Jensen,” I said. 

“Yeah Baby it’s me. Where are you?”

”l’m here,” as I wheeled the chair into the light he saw the bruise on my face. 

“That son of a bitch I’m going to kill him.”

”Jensen your here because you killed his brother’s. He wants you dead and he wants me to watch. You shouldn’t come I’m not worth you life Jensen,” as I started to sob. 

“Hey look at me,” I shook my head no, as he gently puts his finger under my chin to lift my head so he can look into my eyes. 

“Of course your worth it Y/N. You don’t deserve this.”

”But I’ve done things Jensen bad things I do deserve this and you will think so to.”

”What could have you done that was so bad?”

Just then the door open and in walks the last brother. He looks at me then Jensen. “So I see your getting reacquainted. Shame it’s not going to last long.”

”Let her go,” he said. 

“Let her go no way she has to watch for her betrayal.”

Jensen looks at me and I had tears falling down my face. 

“What the fuck is he talking about Y/N? Betrayal?”

”Oh yeah you didn’t know. Y/N here is my half sister. She was suppose to let you die when my brother came to kill you.”

”No, your lying tell me it’s not true.”

”Unfortunately it is but we didn’t count on her falling in love with you and taking the bullet.”

Jensen looked utterly stunned as he shook his head disbelieving what he had been told. He looked at me and saw the way my eyes were downcast and my lip trembled with tears. He knew it was true but why her? Why did she have to be the one. 

“Ok boys shackle him to the wall.”

Jensen didn’t care what happened to him now as he went willingly to the shackles he didn’t care what they did. The one person he finally found and thought he was falling in love and trusted had betrayed him. They might as will kill him he didn’t want to live now, not now. Why does this always happen to him he lost his mother and wife through violence and now he was going to die of a broken heart. 

He felt the first punch connect with his jaw as he didn’t make a sound. So Joe threw another as this one connected with his stomach. Jensen grunted and that’s all. I called out, “please let him go Joe it’s my fault kill me instead.”

”Oh you hear that it’s her fault. Of course it’s her fault and yours Jensen you both deserve to be punished.”

Joe threw punch after punch until Jensen was barely conscious. Then he hit Jensen on the head with the butt of Jensen’s gun. They unshackled him and let him fall to the floor in a pool of blood. “Your turn next sis,” he said with an evil laugh.

”I wish I had killed you, you fucker. Look at him you didn’t need to hurt him.”

”Yes I did he needed to be punished for his crimes and it felt good. I felt like God hitting him.”

”You’re a fucking psycho, he was doing his job and that’s all.”

”His job! Is it to kill my brother’s. No, he deserves a lot more than that.”

”It was self defence they were going to kill him. Jeff killed his wife don’t you think that’s punishment enough.”

”Jeff did more than that he had a little fun first.”

”Your an animal and I hope you burn in Hell for this.”

”Let’s see who gets there first you, him or me?” As he leaves me alone with a very injured Jensen. How the hell are we getting out of this one I thought. 

Jensen was unconscious and barely breathing as I needed to assess his injures. “Jensen,” I whispered as I pulled myself out of the chair onto the floor. As I crawled over to him using the strength in my arms and cradled his head in my lap. I stroked his damp sweat filled hair as it was stuck to his forehead.  I could hear his harsh breathing so I knew he had at three cracked or broken ribs as I felt along his chest and found four on the right side. I then checked his face and his jaw wasn’t broken but it was swollen. His left eye was swollen shut but his eye looks intacted. His nose was bleeding as it looked broken too. I couldn’t let them beat on him again next time they will kill him. 

Jensen moaned as he felt the coldness off my hand on his head. “Y/N,” he answered as if he was disoriented. 

“It’s me Jensen. Don’t move you’ve been injured.”

”Y/N where are we?” As he tries to move and screams in pain. “Right don’t move sounds good to me.”

”Jensen don’t you remember you came to save me?”

”No, save you?”

”I was kidnapped and they beat you up.”

”That’s why I feel like I been hit by a truck. Who are theses people?” he asked with a slight wheeze.

“You killed his brother’s and he wants revenge. Do you remember anything?”

”No, but my head hurts,” as he moves his hand to the side of his head where he felt a large egg.

“You have a concussion you need to rest. I need to get us out of here.”

The door opens as Joe steps through and he looks at me on the floor cradling Jensen’s head. “It’s time for you both to die.”

He picks me up and puts me in the chair as the goons lift Jensen up. “Be careful he has broken ribs.”

Joe laughs a hideous laugh that’s not all he is going to have as Jensen’s head droops for a second like he was finding it hard to stay awake. “Shackle him.” 

I wince as I hear the shackles lock in place. This is it for us no rescues for either of us. Joe goons stand by Jensen as they wait the final shot. 

“Say your prayers Ackles.”

He had enough strength to say, “fuck you douche.”

 

He cock the gun and the shot rings out. Who lives and who dies? Will Jensen and Y/N be saved? Will Jensen regain his memory and will he forgive Y/N or will he let her go through anger?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos. 
> 
> Final chapter up soon. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my stories I hope you are enjoying it?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my story and I hope you liked it. Thank you for your comments and kudos it's much appreciated.


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